You’ll probably notice people like me seem
obsessed with Jiu Jitsu. Constant social media post are probably a dead
giveaway. The reason for this is two fold: the first is to basically let people
know how frigging cool and life changing Jiu Jitsu is. The second, is to help
(push, cajole, and sometimes guilt) those who haven’t been on the mats in some time to return.
Now you may think Jiu Jitsu is ALL I do but
it isn’t. As much as I LOVE Jiu Jitsu, I have many other things I am tackling
on a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly basis. One of the basic tenants in Jiu Jitsu is balance and base. If you don’t have this in your life, things fall out
of kilter. Other areas of you life will rapidly go south.
I am no different that the average person
taking on a "hobby". I work full time in what is considered a high risk/high stress job. I have family and friends that I spend time with. I
enjoy getting out in nature, learning the guitar, doing my podcast , seminar attendance and managing
my 3 other entrepreneurial endeavors. Some people do more-some less. But we all
can get in some Jiu Jitsu IF YOU ARE willing to to.
Many years ago, my Professor, Keith Owen,
was teaching a seminar at my school and he said “I want everyone to look to
your right. Now to your left. By the time you reach black belt, those people
won’t be practicing anymore.” He did this to illustrate that it is HARD to get
a black belt and really, 33% is a generous number when talking about who gets
to the ‘finish line’ (black belt…which it isn’t by the way). Its probably less
than 5%.
I actually have the video of this speech. I
remember seeing people looking left and right and hearing what he had to say.
There were many “shaking of heads” indicating the “Oh, that won’t be me. No
way.”
Well, as you can imagine, many, many of
those “it won’t be me that quits” people are no longer in Jiu Jitsu. They did
quit. The road to black belt is littered with could haves, would haves and should haves.
Jiu Jitsu isn’t for everyone in the
long run despite the slogan “Jiu Jitsu is for everyone.” Jiu Jitsu CAN be done
by anyone but the length of your practice depends on YOU. Sometimes people just don't like Jiu Jitsu. That's totally cool. But this article is for the people who like (liked) Jiu Jitsu but QUIT.
Instructors have heard all the excuses in
the world. I’ve shared many stories that are exactly the same across the globe.
Seriously. The only thing different about the stories are the names of the
people.
I am not devoid of heart and understand the
stresses that come with life. But there are a ton of bullshit excuses out there
on why people quit. No one thinks their excuse is invalid. They all think they
have THE excuse why they stopped training.
“well, my excuse is special.”
No. No its not. I've endured job shifts, deaths, sickness and many other things. So, your excuses ARE NOT special-YOU ARE. If you continue Jiu Jitsu in light of these, you are the special one. IT requires dedication, strength, confidence and motivation.
I posted an instagram meme a while back that
read “Are you a “I train Jiu Jitsu” person or are you a “I USE to train Jiu
Jitsu” person. At what point do we consider one “former”? Did you take an
extended leave but returned? Is that quitting and then unquitting?
You can ALWAYS unquit. Really, that is goal
when I see people drift off from the art. I’ve seen a ton of talented people
quit. And they still haven’t returned.
If we are going to be honest, there is a
point when you quit Jiu Jitsu. You haven’t returned in some time. You are not
on a hiatus. You aren’t just taking a break. You quit. This isn’t made to make
you feel guilty. Its just the truth. Dedication is hard. Excuses are easy.
I have a tough love/genuine care for my
students (both past and present). I will support those in tough times. Shitty
things happen and we must be there for our students in those situations. But
where do my priories lie? This may be tough for some to hear.
My priorities lie with those students who
want to be on the mat. Who, despite THEIR challenges, show up and train and
haven’t quit. I don’t expect students to train 6 days a week and that doesn’t
make you more valuable that the one day a week student. Both are showing up and
doing what they can to move forward.
As a coach, my job is to help you meet your
goals. But that requires work on your part. If you aren’t putting
in the effort, how can you expect your coaches to put in more than you…into
YOU.
I’ve done that too. I’ve dropped everything
to pour all my energy into students that just half assed it only to have them
quit Jiu Jitsu.
You have to be true to yourself if you have
quit Jiu Jitsu. I actually respect those who admit and say “ya, this article is
about me. I am that person. I have nothing valid to counter point. I just need
to get back to it.”
Stop fooling yourself if you keep saying
“I’ll eventually come back.” You like social media posts about Jiu Jitsu but
haven’t been on the mat in months or years. If you truly want Jiu Jitsu in your
life you need to set a PLAN. You need goals. If you don’t, you won’t. It will
always be that out of reach dream and you’ll never pull the trigger.
And quitting isn’t reserved for white
belts. I’ve seen ALL belts quit.
So how do you, the quitter, return to Jiu Jitsu? This is what you have to do.
- be honest with yourself and understand that you have in fact quit
- shelve the excuses and tell your self doubt to shut the fuck up
- remember how it felt when you were on the mats and the endorphins were firing. How good it made you feel.
- think back to the good times and comradery you have with your fellow students
- be prepared to start over and realize you will be rusty (or worse).
- make a plan and stick to it. It can be one class a week or 5. Be realistic. Do a little a lot as my friend Professor Chad Lyman says. Be Consistent.
- the only thing worse than excuses and failure is not attempting to correct them.
- make sure your significant other is on board with you training. If you don’t have support in this arena, you’ll 100% never return.
- you’ll have a ton of support if you return. The mats are where the action is. Where like minded people can share advice, experiences and positive energy.
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